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ADHD Side Quests

Feelings and stuff (hidden page)

#1 - In that state you have unlimited physical energy. Potentially dangerous, the natural safeties your body has in place are less effective or stop working completely. (Can't bite through your own tongue, can't flex muscles hard enough to snap your bones, etc.)

#2 - Neurotypicals cannot do that. They can't. They can however, if they're VERY LUCKY, experience something at that level of euphoria once or twice in their lifetime. (30-40 year old adults born without ear drums getting hearing implants and hearing their children speak "Hi mom/dad I love you" for the first time in their life. Like that sorta ugly cry level of euphoria). We can do it multiple times a day, at will. Sometimes against our will.

#3 - I have driven too tired to drive safely, more than I should. Pull over and doing jumping jacks didn't help. Blasting AC didn't help. Blasting heat didn't help. Blasting music didn't help. Hyperventaliting didn't help. Crushing my thighs and legs together to force blood to my brain didn't help. - RRE did. I could be seconds from death because I'm so exhausted and tired, if I load up something like this and imagine myself being the last standing warrior in my circle of friends and getting home / home safely is my responsibility alone, but let me fucking tell you, I could never be MORE AWAKE. So I have successfully used RRE to keep myself awake when I can't be awake normally. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQpkjR_8-Qs

#4 - Upon many many hours of self reflection I realized the first time I experienced RRE was childhood. I was often picked on. I would lay in bed awake, day dreaming about having Super Saiyan powers and beating the fuck out of my bullies.

#4.a - (Ref. #1) - Unlimited physical energy = not fucking sleeping. NOPE. Literally it wasn't going to happen, I was so high / hyped up on my own dopamine from RRE not a chance in hell I'd calm down in time to sleep.

#4.b - I realized a few years ago, I could replay EVE fights, or call of duty trick shots in my brain while sleeping (LOL WELL TRYING TO SLEEP), and I could physically improve. Like time spent "meditating" was worth literal time on task experience. I found this phenomenal.

#4.c - I separated what was doing the learning. It was not exclusively my brain... My brain recorded the steps, like a dumb lego robotics controller that went through the motions. But the memory I was drawing, editing, and enhancing was my emotions!!?

#4.d - Pondering... Learning... Emotions... Learning... Emotions... is this why when I'm mad/happy/sad/excited I can remember details? I know exactly where you were standing, what color your glasses were, how your hair was parted, clothes, what time it was, what the air smelled like, the temperature, humidity, etc... But if I have no emotional connection to a thing, email, call, interaction, I cannot remember it to safe my fucking life! Cody go grab me a 10mm wrench. Okay. Literally I wouldn't finish standing up - and it's gone.

#4.e - That means i was inadvertently binding the sparring practice I did as a child to the feelings of RRE. But when I got picked on I didn't particularly feel euphoric, and could never muster my 'dream skills'... HMM you might be thinking... HMM IS RIGHT! I trained it wrong. inadvertently, again I might add. I should have dreamt about sadness and rejection while sparring in my brain but what self respecting child wants to do that? Doesn't sound healthy even now. Nothing gained, nothing lost I suppose.

#5 - Emotional Learning! So obviously it's a thing, I just did it wrong. But what happens if I do it right? (This took considerable skill to even understand how to attempt. It is akin to Gohan teaching Videl how to use energy, not kidding) I've made progress here and although its slow going, it's been incredibly successful. Teaching myself guitar riffs but committing them to emotional memory so to speak, not my poop memory.

#6 - Unwanted emotional learning. So we can bind thoughts to emotions. Accidentally or intentionally. Great. But what happens when it's a bad thought? :frowning: A bad thought can trigger an emotional response akin to RRE but opposite. Negative. Like imagining your most badass Fairy Tail scene but somehow, reliving your worst nightmare. BOOM. All of those physical, emotional, mental, and medical(?) body attributes are affected but in a poor way. A sad way. If I was to make up a name for this I would call it "RRD" Recognition Responsive Depression... Or it's more widely known name... PTSD.